The Ugly Side of Adoption

I think adopting a child is a wonderful thing for people to do. Adopting a child out of country is almost a “cool” thing to do. Angelina Jolie is known for it. It is great that she is showing Americans how unfortunate children in other countries are and is giving them a better life. The unfortunate part about adopting out of country is you can’t be sure of what you will be given.

ABC did a show on children being adopted in the US from other countries. They showed a few cases at a Russian adoption agency where the children were abused and lived in very poor conditions. Most of the children have reactive detachment disorder, which makes the child unable to bond with certain people and often results in violence. The parents of these children get very frustrated because they cannot understand why their child doesn’t act normal and show love towards them.

A woman named Peggy Hilt and her husband adopted a Russian girl named Nina. They were unaware of all the problems this beautiful girl came with. Peggy was a closet alcoholic and could not stand the way her daughter acted at times. The mother became so frustrated with her daughter that one day, after Nina had cause some trouble, her mother grabbed her by her neck shook her, beat her, and kicked her. The next day Nina passed away. Although Peggy’s case is not common, adoptive parents not knowing the psychological problems the child they are adopting might have, happens in 20% of outside-of-the-country adoptions. Even though adopting a child is a selfless thing to do, parents should research who they are adopting before they get into a situation they cannot handle.

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8 Comments

  1. Your blog post is misinformed in several respects. Firstly, you need to educate yourself on what “reactive attachment disorder” actually entails:
    http://childtorture.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/for-the-last-time-attachment-disorder-does-not-exist/

    Also, Nina Hilt’s claims as to the circumstances of her daughter’s murder have conspicuously differed in separate news investigations, both of which were very sympathetic to her “plight.” Did you not bother to actually read my post that you linked to? It also reveals how Peggy Hilt’s now ex-husband wholly disagrees with his wife’s claims and shows that Nina was a lovable and loving little girl who was not without issues, but was nowhere near approaching the wild “sociopathic” hyperbole that Peggy and other RAD proponents claim.

    To reiterate, I choose to believe the parent who was not a lying, alcoholic murderer over the parent who was.

  2. I am one who always wanted to adopt out of the country, and I never knew of this risk. I am glad now that I am informed! However, when a parent chooses to adopt, they should keep in mind that they do not know the circumstances that may occur. They should do their best to prepare for whatever may come their way. Researching the child you adopt is a great idea too–but maybe it would be better in some cases to adopt the violent, love-stricken child in order to prove to them that they can live a better way. God works in mysterious ways!

  3. In response to Wayward Radish, I did read your entire article and I also know what RAD is. I do apologize that I didn’t include the concluding part in your article about how Peggy Hilt’s story was constantly changing. I also have more faith in what the trustworthy husband said over the spouse who was an alcoholic. I wanted to get the story out about how some adoptive parents are misinformed. I didn’t put all the details of Nina’s case into my post because I assumed that the reader would read your article that I linked. Nina probably did not have all the issues Peggy claimed she did, and it is definitely not an excuse to muder your child.

  4. I also should add that RAD is not a scientifically proven disorder and like other things is probably over-diagnosed. There is definitely more research that needs to be done.

  5. You’re still buying into a piece of sensationalistic TV spot that demonizes the entire process of adoption and by extent adoptees–as opposed to focusing on what it SHOULD, i.e. incapable parents who are not properly screened by agencies, who then go on to selfishly blame children for their own shortcomings. The only major “problem” Nina Hilt had was that being adopted by a lazy, drunken murderer. Your post would be better titled “The Ugly Side of Corporate Mass Media and its Weak-minded Followers.”

  6. Parents that adopt should not be blaming the children for the problems that occur; that is true. I guess those adoption agencies are just so ready to give up the kids that they don’t bother to check who the parents are. I never thought of it that way. I did not make adoption seem like a bad institution, because it is giving a child a home and a family that wouldn’t’ve had one otherwise. I will agree the show that ABC did, did not put the right spin on the story of Nina Hilt. Even so, I still think it is important to write about these unfortunate stories of adoption that little people know about. Maybe the parents will be more informed and the adoption agencies will actually take the time to check the backgrounds of those they give human life away to.

  7. im adopted,(in country) and i think that this is a very valid argument…. when you know you have “other parents” or birth-parents, it can sometimes get to you when you are dealing with difficult situations, this may seem to be the quick fix but i think that where ever an adopted child is placed, that is where they need to be, whether they are impacting themselves or someone else that they might not even know about….God placed them there for a specific reason.

  8. I hope I didn’t make it seem like adoption was bad and hurt your feelings because I think its really amazing. I can only imagine how hard it could be at times to not who the “other parents” are, but it is nice to know God always has a plan and it is usually one that we don’t see. He always knows what’s going on in your life 🙂


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