Yes On Prop 8

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/prop-marriage-rights-2195123-law-california

The claim is that by voting yes on prop 8 you are affirming liberty to all and human rights. The writer uses pathos by a shocking twist, it starts of how you would see a no on prop 8 article start out, but twists it to be why he is voting yes. An evidence he uses is he says that passing prop 8 will be supporting the voice of the people in California, according to 2000s Prop 22. Another is an imposing value on people who do not agree with gay marriage. Last evidence he uses is by saying that Prop 8 protects individual liberties.

Advertisements

5 Comments

  1. I agree that prop 8 would be supporting human rights, but what about civil rights? To gays, Prop 8 would seem like an imposing value against gay marriage.

  2. Good job identifying the claim and supports, but add a little more clarification. The third support, “…saying prop 8 protects individual liberties,” seems very vague. Prop 8 states that a woman cannot marry another woman in California, no matter what. That seems as though a hinderance on individual liberties. Just give a little more information to clarify what is thought path is, and how he gets to that conclusion. Also, a rhetorical analysis is to identify what type of appeal the author uses to support his claims, so maybe just add a sentance to each claim to what he is arguing to. Finally, write whether his appeals are effective or not, whether they make sence, and whether they convince you. Good job on the article =]
    Sarah

  3. Yawn.

    Your sentence structure was more twisted than your logic here. The only thing that kept me interested in reading your post was trying to piece together what you meant from awkwardly stated sentences.

    tayler1155 hit it on the head. Why don’t you tell us something other than summarizing what he said. Was he effective? Is his logic twisted?

  4. I get why you would say what you just said to me, Mr. Edwards. My sentence structure and spelling is, quite frankly, atrocious.

    See I do have a few problems with how you addressed my mistakes. You told us to do it in a manner of critiquing, not insulting. I see insults in your comment back to me. That comment was no mere critique, it was flat out insulting.

    Sure, I will agree. It was horribly put together, but that is no excuse for how you responded to me. “Yawn?” Try something more on the lines of, “It could use some spicing up”, or maybe “Try to make it more interesting”

    Tayler was right, not only in what was said, but how it was approached. I am more convinced that I should change what I said because of the manner it was written in not just because its true. You of all people should know this.

    Also, incorporating my name into the insults. Classic. I might have believed you were doing it in good humor until today in Computer Graphics. You told me I SHOULD be insulted by what you wrote. No, I should be encouraged to do a better job next time.

    Bottom line Mr. Edwards, follow what you teach. If you teach to be constructive, be constructive yourself.

  5. I respectfully disagree with your evaluation of my critique. It was constructive, not insulting.

    Satirical criticism has historically been a constructive way to challenge because the humor softens the edge of the critique. “Yawn,” is a satirical way of saying “Your post does not interest the reader,” which is less effective because it also is boring and too matter of fact. The humor is encouraging when straight forward criticism can be discouraging. Additionally, satire’s humor increases the chances that the author will think about the critique, and the length of your response proves that I am correct.

    Regarding the use of your name in the critique, I chose to do that because I think that you would agree that we should avoid hypocrisy at all costs. So, I was politely calling you to live out the name that you have identified yourself by, which is more encouraging than outright calling you a hypocrite. Doing that may have been misconstrued as an insult.

    That said, let me encourage you to accept the constructive criticism and begin living up to your potential.


Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s